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THE WINDMILLS OF MY MIND - April 2008

CHILD OF THE CORN

April 24th 2008 05:26

Have you ever shared your house with a two year old? Well I do and It's like living in The Amytiville Horror House! Little Lilly looks like an angel, but cross her and she will get you. If it gets any worse we are thinking about calling a priest and having an exorcism.
This tiny little person even scared the animals in the house, they run for cover shaking in fear when the screaming banshee takes over her body.


Her eyes start to flicker and roll, and then the jerking movements start and a scream so loud she could fill an opera house emanates from her small frothing mouth. It frightens me so much I try and fit under the tables with the dogs. Experts will have you believe it is just a stage, the terrible two's. DON'T BELIEVE THEM. It's a plot !! Two year olds are planning to take over the world, are you all ready for the onslaught? You would have already had a taste of their evil, when you are walking quietly around a shop and all of a sudden you see a short dwarf like human attacking their mother.

Their is nothing that the mother can do to calm thrashing screaming scrap of humanity, the evil one bites her, it kicks her and then plays dead on the floor so when the mother least expects it will attack in full force!!!

Beware, the next victim could be you. Our Lilly is a force to be reckoned with, she stomps around the house stalking her next victim, "I want food NOW, I want a drink NOW, I fell like kicking the dog NOW. I swear sometimes in the night when any of us check on her she opens her eyes and beams of light shine forth from them.
There is no escape from these tiny demons, they pound on the toilet door while you sit on the seat trembling with fear, you hear them outside speaking in tongues while you are trying to have a shower.
I don't think that the Movie Children Of The Corn was fiction at all ! Stephen King knows something we don't, these troll like beings are coming to get us. A world full of two year olds, are you ready for it?
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Comment by Louie

April 24th 2008 05:57


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Experts will have you believe it is just a stage, the terrible two's. DON'T BELIEVE THEM. It's a plot !! Two year olds are planning to take over the world, are you all ready for the onslaught?


v funny, love it, i am sure you could sell the movie rights to this plot without writing a word.

cheers

Louie

Comment by Cheryl J

April 24th 2008 10:42


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Oh God, this is hilarious! I don't have children but I was a nanny for quite a while and have witnessed the horrors first hand. I often waited for their little heads to start spinning. My advice - hide!

Comment by Fobzy

April 25th 2008 09:56


Fobz
Oh, dear, and I am just about to start having some, and there is no way Mother is going to let me off the hook I think she must have been one of these two year olds, once.

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