the world of gayeSNOT EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED
September 5th 2009 01:20
If you, like me have a head of hair that resembles a zulu having a bad hair day there is help out there. Stop spending all that hard earned cash on expensive products and try a bit of snot gel manufactured in Mexico. Now you know why those little mexicans wear such big hats, it's to cover up the snot.
Do you have bowel problems? Are you too embarrassed to go to the toilet when you are out and about, and hold on to until your backside feels like it's about to give birth? Never ever be afraid of offending the rest of the population again, the solution to all your smelly problems is nigh. "Feces odor tablets" have arrived to make pooing more socially acceptable. "People must be responsible for their odors" the bottle informs us.
Now if you plan on going out and buying yourself some gorilla snot for your hair you may as well go the whole hog and give a little attention to the pubes as well. An often neglected area, why not give new life to those dreary old pubes with a little colour and a bit of imagination. I myself just love the hot pink
.
Have your nipples faded over the years? We all know the toll age takes on us, tired looking skin, wrinkles, age spots and faded nipples. Well just like putting the blush back in your cheeks with a touch of rouge you can restore the pinkness of your long neglected nipples by adding a touch of colour. Apparently "Pink Nipple" will leave them pink and fresh.
Another "must have" for everyone out there who takes pride in their appearance would be the "bull semen hair treatment" available in a swanky UK hair salon. Apparently protein packed (yukkkkkk) this product penetrates and conditions the hair shaft. I wonder how they obtain the bull semen? I am guessing there are a lot of very happy bulls somewhere in the world.
And now the reason every woman should hang on to their placenta's instead of letting the hospital staff throw them away. Why pay for botox or surgery when your own body manufactures natures secret to a fantastic complexion, Placenta Cream. Why not have a few more pregnancies than you originally planned and stock up.
So that's all from me, the guru of beauty products. I hope amongst all my discoveries there is something for you all.
Do you have bowel problems? Are you too embarrassed to go to the toilet when you are out and about, and hold on to until your backside feels like it's about to give birth? Never ever be afraid of offending the rest of the population again, the solution to all your smelly problems is nigh. "Feces odor tablets" have arrived to make pooing more socially acceptable. "People must be responsible for their odors" the bottle informs us.
Now if you plan on going out and buying yourself some gorilla snot for your hair you may as well go the whole hog and give a little attention to the pubes as well. An often neglected area, why not give new life to those dreary old pubes with a little colour and a bit of imagination. I myself just love the hot pink
Another "must have" for everyone out there who takes pride in their appearance would be the "bull semen hair treatment" available in a swanky UK hair salon. Apparently protein packed (yukkkkkk) this product penetrates and conditions the hair shaft. I wonder how they obtain the bull semen? I am guessing there are a lot of very happy bulls somewhere in the world.
And now the reason every woman should hang on to their placenta's instead of letting the hospital staff throw them away. Why pay for botox or surgery when your own body manufactures natures secret to a fantastic complexion, Placenta Cream. Why not have a few more pregnancies than you originally planned and stock up.
So that's all from me, the guru of beauty products. I hope amongst all my discoveries there is something for you all.
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Comment by sam sall
Health and Fitness
Speech Starter
Health Matters
amazing what some people might do to get " the look" although it does not need these weird stuff to put on
Comment by James Rickard
unlucky_ fishermen.com
Angling Fish
Check this out...
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog