the world of gayeTHE WANDERING WOMB
June 18th 2009 04:23
How could women ever doubt the wisdom of a man? All through history the male of the species has proved how insightful, how intelligent, how very very superior they are. Where would all the helpless women of lower intellect be without their world changing inventions and ideas, the wheel, aircraft, the telephone, the theory of relativity, the wandering womb !!!
Yes..........you heard right, a womb that wanders, excuse me for a moment while I laugh hysterically. Okay I'm back. Somewhere back in old Rome the medical leaders sat around in their togas and came up with the solution to all our womanly woes.
According to these medical marvels the womb was not a stationary object but moved freely around a womans body.How cute, a womb that goes walkabout. There are symptoms for the walkabout womb, shortness of breath (the little bugger has probably crawled up near your throat, thereby cutting off your air), stomach cramps (I am thinking this happens when it is making its way to your throat and shoves your stomach out of the way), and deep sleep (my theory is the womb has travelled father than intended and is all tuckered
out).
Here are the facts according to the medicos of togaland
In women, in the hollow of the body below the ribcage, lies the womb. It is very much like an independent animal within the body for it moves around of its own accord and is quite erratic. Furthermore, it likes fragrant smells and moves toward them, but it dislikes foul doors and moves away from them… When it suddenly moves upward [i.e., toward a fragrant smell] and remains there for a long time and presses on the intestines, the woman chokes, in the manner of an epileptic, but without any spasms. For the liver, the diaphragm, lungs and heart are suddenly confined in a narrow space. And therefore the woman seems unable to speak or to breathe. In addition, the carotid arteries, acting in sympathy with the heart, compress, and therefore heaviness of the head, loss of sense perception, and deep sleep occur… Disorders caused by the uterus are remedied by foul smells, and also by pleasant fragrances applied to the vagina… –Medical Writings 2.11.1-3
I really like the information about the hollow below the ribcage. If I am right in my calculations this means that my womb is underneath my lungs (well, when it's not wandering) which means my fanny should be where my navel lies. Oh, and the foul smell theory that can be solved by putting flowers on your fanny??? Next time your womb decides to go on vacation, go outside and straddle your garden, that should lure the little sucker back home.
Your going to LOVE the solution to hysteria that medical men came up with........Pelvic massage. This entailed manual stimulation of the anterior wall of the vagina by the doctor until the patient experienced "hysterical paroxysm", (I am thinking this might be a fancy word for orgasm). So I will leave all of you females to digest all these brilliant deductions and work out exactly where your womb is and come back tomorrow with the ongoing saga of the wandering womb, hysteria and hysterical paroxysm. There is much much more to learn about our bodies and how they work, and I think I may be able to provide the answers.
Yes..........you heard right, a womb that wanders, excuse me for a moment while I laugh hysterically. Okay I'm back. Somewhere back in old Rome the medical leaders sat around in their togas and came up with the solution to all our womanly woes.
According to these medical marvels the womb was not a stationary object but moved freely around a womans body.How cute, a womb that goes walkabout. There are symptoms for the walkabout womb, shortness of breath (the little bugger has probably crawled up near your throat, thereby cutting off your air), stomach cramps (I am thinking this happens when it is making its way to your throat and shoves your stomach out of the way), and deep sleep (my theory is the womb has travelled father than intended and is all tuckered
out).
Here are the facts according to the medicos of togaland
In women, in the hollow of the body below the ribcage, lies the womb. It is very much like an independent animal within the body for it moves around of its own accord and is quite erratic. Furthermore, it likes fragrant smells and moves toward them, but it dislikes foul doors and moves away from them… When it suddenly moves upward [i.e., toward a fragrant smell] and remains there for a long time and presses on the intestines, the woman chokes, in the manner of an epileptic, but without any spasms. For the liver, the diaphragm, lungs and heart are suddenly confined in a narrow space. And therefore the woman seems unable to speak or to breathe. In addition, the carotid arteries, acting in sympathy with the heart, compress, and therefore heaviness of the head, loss of sense perception, and deep sleep occur… Disorders caused by the uterus are remedied by foul smells, and also by pleasant fragrances applied to the vagina… –Medical Writings 2.11.1-3
I really like the information about the hollow below the ribcage. If I am right in my calculations this means that my womb is underneath my lungs (well, when it's not wandering) which means my fanny should be where my navel lies. Oh, and the foul smell theory that can be solved by putting flowers on your fanny??? Next time your womb decides to go on vacation, go outside and straddle your garden, that should lure the little sucker back home.
Your going to LOVE the solution to hysteria that medical men came up with........Pelvic massage. This entailed manual stimulation of the anterior wall of the vagina by the doctor until the patient experienced "hysterical paroxysm", (I am thinking this might be a fancy word for orgasm). So I will leave all of you females to digest all these brilliant deductions and work out exactly where your womb is and come back tomorrow with the ongoing saga of the wandering womb, hysteria and hysterical paroxysm. There is much much more to learn about our bodies and how they work, and I think I may be able to provide the answers.
| 38 |
| Vote |
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
BAHAHahahaha wtf?!?
i knew the thing about orgasm being used to cure hysteria, i saw it depicted in some film or tv show and it always stuck in my mind
thank god women were eventually allowed to become doctors themselves
Comment by Natalina
My Life My Muse
Beta Girl Blog
Honestly, this has to be history's most inventive way ever that a man designed to get inside a woman's pants! Haha!...oops! I choked! Dang womb lodged in my throat again...now where did I put those fragrant flowers.....