the world of gayeTHIS ONE'S FOR THE WOMEN
March 10th 2008 06:25
I have become so nasty I am scaring myself!! I have this new routine I find myself performing on my morning train trip and I am getting a great deal of enjoyment out of it.
It's my little way of annoying men and taking away a little bit of their self delusion that they are more important than women and so they therefore deserve more personal space. I was finding that they behave in a certain manner when they take a seat near women. The first thing they do is climb over everyone as fast as possible,and then proceed to sit on the females on either side in a bid to force us to mash ourselves against the wall as much as possible, they then wiggle a little bit to gain even more space, and then they spread their legs apart until yours are so tight together you feel like a virgin again. Then when they are sure they have three quarters of the seat for their needs they bring out the newspaper. Not just any newspaper mind you, but the biggest one they can find, something they can comfortably smack you in the face with every time they turn a page!!
When they have finished with the news they then decide to do a little bit of work on their laptop to let everyone know what important little men they are. So you move even more so they can be big important executives on the train. Then to top it off they bring out the Ipod. They save the best for last!! Ipods are supposed to be for personal use but because they believe they are the gods of good musical taste they of course have to play it at full volume so you can appreciate their cruddy taste in music as well. I would like to hit them so hard the Ipods would imbed itself in their ugly little heads. And so I decided enough is enough, and it's payback time. When I get on the train the first thing I do is take the seat nearest the wall. I always make sure I have an extra bag and fill it up with things before I leave home. I then place the bag on the floor between my legs so they cannot possibly spread their legs into my space. Then I put one elbow up on the windowsill and the other down by my side so I get the maximum amount of space. I then place a huge magazine on my lap and make sure I turn the pages with my elbows facing out and make as much noise as I can turning the pages. When a man sits next to me it's hysterical, they grunt and groan, push against me gently while pretending to look the other way in the hope that I will move an arm or a leg and make it more comfortable for them. NO WAY. I'm fighting a battle for all women and I won't give in. So after sitting for half the journey with a smirk on my face while I watch them squirm I then take out the makeup and perfume.
This is the best part of all, and if your lucky they will have a reaction to the perfume. When they leave the train they never sit near me again. Mission accomplished. At least when a women sits down they say excuse me and they never pick their noses while they sit next to you. I'm going to go now so I can devise other ways to annoy them, I'm having so much fun
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Comment by Michaelie
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