the world of gayeWELCOME TO MY FUNHOUSE AND HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
May 9th 2009 19:30
Since it's Mothers Day I thought I would give all you mums a bit of laugh and tell you a story you can probably all relate to. In the madness that is my life I have had many many mornings when strange things have occured and I have thought to myself "okay your still asleep and this isn't really happening". I had such a morning yesterday.
This is how I awoke........the first thing was lots of giggling and running sounds. The noise was getting louder and it was coming from all corners of my room, children laughing, dogs barking, a cat hissing and the shrill sound of my sister yelling at her precious two angels "I told you two to do as your told".
I carefully opened one eye.............and saw another eye looking at me and then a gross wet tongue licking my face. Still half asleep I wiped the spittle of my face and pushed the happy little dog off me, trying desperately to convince myself it was a dream and I would once again sink into lovely sleep. But no, I heard a strange hissing like noise very close to one ear so once again my tired eye opened to see the cat sitting near my head hissing at happy dog who was trying very hard to be it's friend and lick my face again. NOOOO.....go away and be happy somewhere else I was thinking.
So after pushing happy dog off my face and hissing back at the cat I tried to drift away again but it was not to be, happy dog's friend.......the other happy dog of the family that belongs to the family of madness, decided he wanted to join the fun and was jumping up and down on my chest in excitement. As if this wasn't enough at the same time as chaos was reigning supreme on my body, the two angels of the family were screaming around the room saying to each other " quick, hide from mum". These two "angels" are 6 year old Isabelle and her sister three year old Lilly and when they want to be they are the daughters of satan.
So the Daughters of Satan are yelling and laughing at each other while the two happy dogs are chewing on each others neck and using me as a trampoline at the same time and the cats having a nervous breakdown near my head!! Meanwhile Mother of the two satanic children is standing near my bedroom door screaming in her lovely shrill screaming tone "DO AS YOUR TOLD AND GET OUT OF HERE". Well, I was half awake a few minutes ago but now I am so alert I have nerve endings protruding through my pores. Then just to make sure I was really awake the daughters of satan decided to "hide" under the blankets with me...oh my god. In amongst all this chaos I noticed the TV was turned on and ALICE IN WONDERLAND was blaring from the screen.
How appropriate I'm thinking. The madness of the stoned caterpillar, the mad hatter and the white rabbit seemed so right at this moment. I felt like reaching through the TV screen and asking the caterpillar to share his pipe full of drugs with me. I finally manged to push all the animals and children off my bed and then Mum of the satanic children and happy dogs says in all her kindness "I will get them out of here so you can go back to sleep". HELLO....I'M AWAKE NOW.
I sure hope my offspring doesn't think it his duty to call in early tomorrow morning to wish me "Happy Mothers Day".......just let me sleep.....PLEASE.
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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